JAEJOONG
keke, I know I'm lame, can't help it.
It's in me!!
I've gotten a few more friends, well I got closer to them...
BrenDA, shihhuh, tanhuixian.
I spent more times with them than with you...
I feel comfortable, nice and not awkward.
I need not try hard to fit in or to understand what they are saying.
It's not that others speak in alien languages,
but it's the intention of excluding me out makes me sick.
Is it so dificult to try to make me feel welcome that you all just give up??
Even if it's just a facade. I don't mind. Really...
How many times do we spent together in a year??
I could seriously count the hours.
It's THAT countable.
Then why can't you all pretend for those godsaken hours?!?
16 years, I've carried this feeling for 16 years.
Do you know I always dread family gatherings??
Because I know that I will always be the odd one out.
Am I that anti-social, that detestable??
I bet my friends understand me better than you all...
Isn't that ironic, pathetic??
Do you know what is my favourite subject??
Do you know what I like to eat??
Do you??
You don't even know my name!
I could remeber that time clearly.
Who's Yixuan??
Yeah right! Who AM I??
Yet friends treat me better than you all.............
Friends that cared for me.
Share with me..
It's nice to have such friends.
To take in all my nonsense, my childishness, my bossiness.
And YOU!
You the worst!
Do you really think I don't feel anything at all??
Betrayal is painfull, you know???
It hurts everytime I see you...
Do I mean nothing to you??
Worthless?
Uncomparable to those people outside, whom you rather spend your time with??
Do you know how much I yearn to spent time with you.
But you refuses, you don't want.
You weren't there when I need you.
You weren't there when I wanted to share my joys with you.
You were so reluctant to attend my ceremony.
You thought I couldn't see your facial expression??
Don't I make you proud?
Don't you fell ashamed seeing the proud faces other people wore except for you?
Even if you were with me, it was an empty shell.
I rather you not be with us then!
I don't want to hear the mockery from the empty shell anymore.
Things in school, I want to share them with you.
But did you give me a chance?
Do you know what stress I had been through these few days??
The O's... Knowing that I have to do extremely well to get an A.
Your absense aggravating the whole situation.
When I was sick, you didn't give me a call.
You even went overseas...
Even if you asked me of I was okay, you were in you drunken stupor.
My 16 birthday, how well celebrated that day was.
My ass.
Don't celebrate my birthday if you're reluctant.
I was really looking forward to that day you know.
But you spoilt that day, you chose that path.
So don't regret coz you choose it to end up this way.
Damn, didn't want this post to end up this way.
